I am blessed with three beautiful children.
The way they greet me each morning is one of my favorite parts of the day.
Some mornings, usually before the sun has even had time to peek through my curtain, my 4-year-old son Hugh will find me still in bed. Taking the opportunity to get some morning cuddles he quickly crawls into bed with me. Without giving his morning breath a second thought, he whispers “Good morning Mama”, while pulling my face in for his morning kiss. Starting his day with a cuddle, back rub and little whispers is his ideal way to greet the day.
Adelyn my 6-year-old daughter has a different approach to mornings. Hitting the floor running she insists I get up “right now” to join her in the bathroom, as she adds check marks to her morning routine chart. There is no convincing her to come lay down for a little longer. I’ve also given up on asking her to start without me. Nope… she wants her Mama standing right next to her as she brushes her teeth and gets dressed for the day.
My 1-year-old daughter Ellie takes her time getting up. She enjoys a slow morning in her crib before calling out. Ellie knows the second she makes a noise her siblings and mama will come running with high voices and baby talk. The moment she hears the door crack open she stands to attention with her arms lifted, knowing her loyal servants are ready to meet her every need. All she has to do is point to something and her servants are arguing over who is going to bring it to her. She knows she is deeply loved and cherished, and she takes full advantage.
One day it stops
I feel so blessed to start my day with three adorable children who are eager and excited to greet me in the morning. They don’t hold back their love and they also don’t hold back their requests.
My mom who has raised and homeschooled four children often speaks of the day it all stops. She says you never really know when the last time they wake up smiling and excited to see you will be. Out of nowhere your baby who couldn’t wait to get in your arms each morning is a 12-year-old who wants to sleep longer and is irritated by the wake-up call you now have to give.
Your toddler who crawled into bed for a cuddle is now a 16-year-old who has no desire to talk or be talked to in the morning.
The 6-year-old who needed your company while she brushed her teeth is now the 18-year-old who wants her own bathroom.
As a mom, my goal is to be someone my children want to come to in the good times and bad. I want to be someone they can trust, a place they don’t feel any shame or judgment. I want Adelyn, Hugh, and Ellie to forever accept my love each morning that they live in my house. My heart would break to watch my teenager walk out the door in the morning overwhelmed and burdened without sharing the load. Simply because I want to love on them and help however I can.
His little girl
Did you know God’s first and favorite role is being your Father? See Romans 8:15-17.
He treasures the moments you wake up and smile when you think of Him. He holds tight to the times you sit down and talk with Him before setting off on your to-do list. It hurts His heart deeply to watch you walk out the door overwhelmed and burdened. He desperately wants to ease the load and walk with you.
You are His little girl. The world may not see you as a little girl, but He does. As a woman, you carry a lot of weight and you wear many different hats. You may be a mom, a wife, an employee, a boss, a student, etc. But there is one role you must not forget. You are a daughter, and your Father is completely, deeply, and overwhelmingly in love with you.
He wants you to forever wake up smiling and when you’re not, He wants to hold you and talk about it. Oh, how His heart must ache to see His daughter carrying the weight of the world. His eyes must fill with tears when He sees you trying to measure up and do it all on your own.
All your Heavenly Father wants is to come behind you and lift the weight off your shoulders. He wants to see you smile again. Unlike earthy parents who only wish we could heal our child’s broken heart, our heavenly Father actually can. He can bring health and healing to every part of you and your life. He desperately wants to heal your broken heart and hear you laugh again. You are His little girl, His treasure, and you are all He thinks about.
He is the answer
It doesn’t matter if your personality is to start your morning with a cuddle, or hit the ground running, the only thing your Father desires from you is to be a part of it. Taking time to talk with Him each day and allowing Him to help you is what melts His heart.
God is not just sitting on a throne glancing over at you once in a while, He is your heavenly Dad and His eyes are glued on you.
What we need to recognize is that we are daughters who desperately need our Daddy. We need to learn to be Daddy’s girl.
He is our answer to everything. He is our rescuer, our protector; our rest and refreshing.
I know not everyone has experienced what a good father is but that doesn’t mean you can’t. You have an excellent Father eagerly waiting to jump in and hold you. He wants to be the shoulder you cry on and to give you strength for your day. He has everything you need to be that happy and joyful little girl again. All He needs is a little time to pour out His love on you each and every day.
Building a deep relationship
Spending time with your heavenly Dad each and every day is the most essential part of your healing. When you continue to seek the Healer instead of just the “healing”, you will see lasting change. In all my posts, He is the common theme. There is no way I could make it through this life without Him. I want to help you start that relationship with your Dad. I want to encourage you to go deeper in your relationship with Him and become a total Daddy’s girl. In the next couple of posts, I would like to share some things that have helped me develop a daily relationship with Him. Not just a surface-level, Christian lingo kind of relationship. Rather, a deep and intimate one.
We are all in need of healing daily. If you are going through a profound loss or maybe a coworker just said something that hurt your feelings. He wants to be there for you. All you have to do is run to Him like the little girl you still are.
You may feel the warmth of his love wrapping around you right now. Maybe you’ve gone through seasons and have had deep moments with your Heavenly Dad but somehow they keep slipping away. It could be that it’s hard to start because it all feels a bit awkward. Maybe you just simply don’t know where to start. I’ve been there too so I want to share some practical things that have helped me develop a consistent and deep relationship with my Dad.
Seeing your need
In my first blog post, I wrote about a time when Jesus met me with five words that changed my life. “Do you need Me yet?” As a girl who grew up loving Jesus, I was surprised to hear these words. But, in that moment I realized that although I loved Jesus, I never truly understood my need for Him.
I had a great upbringing with parents who also loved Jesus, and I worked hard to do all the “right things”. However, I wasn’t aware of the pride that kept me from seeing my absolute need for Him.
Experiencing Jesus starts with seeing your great need for Him.
Life can be very hard and tricky sometimes, and in those moments it’s quite easy to see your need for Jesus. Hard times can become some of your closest moments with Jesus.
Psalm 34:18 says “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
My soul’s deep need
But what happens when all seems to be going well in life? What happens when “you got this”? Well, that’s precisely when my times with my Heavenly Dad would begin to get shorter. My devotions became more of a checkmark on my to-do list, and eventually, I would just “forget” to spend time with Him.
However, when I recognized my soul’s deep need for my Dad, my daily walk with Him became consistent. (This is in more detail below) It’s not based on the situation in my life because no matter if things in my world are going well or if everything around me is falling apart, I still need my Dad. This need does not depend on how I feel.
Thirsting
Drinking water is essential if you want to stay alive… Profound isn’t it? Haha. Interestingly enough, there have been days when I can’t remember the last cup of water I’ve had. There have been stints in time when the only thing that reminds me to drink water is a pounding headache and (incurable) fatigue. I just forget because I simply do not feel thirsty.
Yet, when I consistently drink water, I notice my thrust cues much sooner. I start to feel thirsty way before I experience a headache. The more consistent I am with drinking water, the more I thirst.
Friends, this is precisely what happens when you spend time with your Father, your Dad. The more you spend time with Him the more you recognize your thirst for Him. It doesn’t take your life falling apart or a scary health report to remind you of your need for Him. You simply feel thirsty and you know how to quench that thirst.
Recognizing Your Need for Him
Let’s get started on some practical steps in recognizing your need for Him.
1. Uncover the hidden
Grab your journal or just a piece of paper. Take a moment to really examine your life. Allow yourself to see those ugly parts of you that you wish would just go away. This is not for you to feel shame about yourself. Instead, we are going to take what the enemy tries to use against you and use it to launch you into a beautiful relationship with your loving Father.
We all have those moments in life we want to pretend never happened. Those issues we hope will just go away if we ignore them. The behaviors we keep telling ourselves will “never happen again”.
Now is the time to look them straight in the face. Let yourself see your great need of a Savior. Don’t stuff it back in, instead, let Jesus’ light shine in and expose every part of you. It’s natural to feel guilt, and shame usually follows pretty closely. But, instead of stuffing it all back to avoid these uncomfortable feelings, I want you to write them out. You can burn this paper after if you want to but don’t hold back anything.
He already sees you
Before we move on, allow me to let you in on a little secret. He already sees it all. The things which you have written down are not news to Him. He isn’t looking at you with wide eyes thinking “Yikes, I had no idea it was this bad.”
Anything you thought you were hiding hasn’t been hidden from God. And, guess what? He is still here. He saw everything you just wrote down while Jesus was on the cross. That’s what kept Him going. Jesus poured out His blood so you could be cleansed, and He rose again so you could be healed. He won so He could walk you up to your Dad completely cleansed of all sins. You don’t have to hold back anything from Him. He knows all your shortcomings and He still tells us to come boldly to His throne.
Hebrews 4:16 AMPC says it this way..
16 Let us then fearlessly and confidently and boldly draw near to the throne of grace (the throne of God’s unmerited favor to us sinners), that we may receive mercy [for our failures] and find grace to help in good time for every need [appropriate help and well-timed help, coming just when we need it].
2. Let Him speak to you
Once you write out these “hidden” parts of you. Let Jesus speak to you. Invite Him into each and every hurt. Ask Him how He sees you and write out what comes to your heart.
This is something I practice daily. Here’s a page from my journal for an example…
A: Dad, I failed again. I handled that argument with Craig terribly and now I just feel so bad. I should be better at this by now. Feels like I can’t get anything right. There are so many things on my plate and it feels like I can’t do enough. I keep dropping the ball and doing exactly what I don’t want to do in those situations. I need your help…
D: (D for Dad) Ashley, you are so precious to me. My heart hurts to see you carrying so much. I love you. If you took on everything you possibly could or if you did absolutely nothing for the rest of your life, it wouldn’t change how I feel about you. I am standing there with you In those situations. When you feel overwhelmed just look at me. Breathe with me. I will hold you up and give you the strength you need in those overwhelming situations. I am here for you.
A: Dad, thank you so much. I love you. Thank you for always being here for me. I will try to focus on you and breathe in those stressful situations.
(If recognizing His voice is something new to you, we will talk about this in a future post.)
Just seeing your need for a Savior can launch you into a deep relationship with your Dad. However, there are things that can get in the way of a deep and intimate relationship with your Heavenly Dad.
Ignoring your need
Let’s go to the other side for a moment because those two steps can actually be quite difficult for some. Allow me to expose a couple road roadblocks that could come up.
Maybe you’re on the other side and no major brokenness comes to mind. Maybe you haven’t struggled with anger, and your self-control game is strong. Furthermore, you could even compare yourself to those around you who struggle with much “worse” things and feel pretty proud of yourself.
Let’s look at the passage of the Rich Young Ruler.
17 As Jesus started on his way, a man ran up to him and fell on his knees before him. “Good teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life? “Why do you call me good?” Jesus answered. “No one is good—except God alone. 19 You know the commandments: ‘You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony, you shall not defraud, honor your father and mother.’
20 “Teacher,” he declared, “all these I have kept since I was a boy.” 21 Jesus looked at him and loved him. “One thing you lack,” he said. “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” 22 At this the man’s face fell. He went away sad because he had great wealth. 23 Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, “How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God!”
“I’m good” syndrome
(It’s important to note that this man’s sin was not that he had lots of money, but instead, it was the great love he had for his money.)
This man was so eager to tell Jesus how “good” he was 20 “Teacher,” he declared, “all these I have kept since I was a boy.” However, Jesus saw that hidden part of him. The part this man tried to ignore. Jesus saw the greed that was swallowing him, and robbing him of true joy.
There was a reason this man held so tightly to his money. Maybe there was a time when he had nothing. There could have been a situation in his childhood that made him feel uncared for. Money and wealth could have become his safety in life. We don’t know, but Jesus did and He wanted to touch that hurt. He wanted to heal the root cause of this man’s greed. Sadly, this man refused to see what was small enough to hide.
Excusing the hidden
I, like the man in this story, have a tendency to focus on all the things I am doing right in order to excuse the things I have hidden. This man worked hard since he was a boy keeping all the ten commandments so he felt no need to see his problem with greed.
Maybe like me, you have spent lots of time excusing that behavior instead of humbling yourself and seeing your need for a Savior. “Well, I only yell because you are not listening to me!” “If you would speak kinder to me I wouldn’t get so angry with you.”
Jesus will show you where your need is. However, your part is to ask and humble yourself to see what He shows you. He wants what is best for you. Your heavenly Father wants to walk you through it and to heal the brokenness that’s causing it. Your Dad wants you to be filled with joy and freedom.
The rich young ruler will never know how beautiful his life could have been.
Allow Jesus to shine His light on every part of you no matter how uncomfortable it may feel. We all need His healing touch. He is a gentleman and will only go to where we allow Him.
Be the child
If you continue to read a couple of verses further in the above passage Mark 10:24-26, you see that the disciples get a little worried since Jesus is making it seem completely impossible to enter the Kingdom of God. (This doesn’t mean just getting into heaven but also knowing and walking with God here on earth) I mean, if a little hidden greed keeps you out of God’s Kingdom, then who on earth gets to walk with God?
26 The disciples were astounded. “Then who in the world can be saved?” they asked.
The disciples forgot what Jesus said only a few verses before talking to the Rich Young Ruler.
13 People were bringing little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them, but the disciples rebuked them. 14 When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. 15 Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” 16 And he took the children in his arms, placed his hands on them, and blessed them.
A child understands their need for a parent
You see, the Kingdom of God belongs to the child. Why? Because a child understands their deep need for their Father.
My children come to me the moment they wake up. They know they need me. They need love and help to solve their little problems. Furthermore, they need breakfast. My children understand that Craig and I are the source of all they need right now.
Adelyn doesn’t come to me occasionally with only certain needs, she comes to me with every single need. Ellie can’t even get out of bed without me lifting her out of her crib. Hughie informs me each time his sister so much as uses a harsh tone with him.
Your first step to becoming a Daddy’s girl is to recognize your need for Him as your Dad. Sit with Him, and receive His love for you. Allow Him to comfort and hold you. Be real and be honest with Him. Give Him the opportunity to speak to you. His words of Life will bring true and lasting healing to your heart. You are His little girl and His arms are eagerly waiting to hold you each and every day.
Ashley, this is absolutely amazing. I love how you are so transparent, real. I learn so much from you. How to be God’s little girl.